Smart Stress
Is stress a friend or foe? Depends if we know the difference between SMART stress and DUMB stress. We’re here to help!
SMART Summary
We only stress over what we care about. Stress isn’t all bad, but it’s not good to live in a constantly stressed state. Keep reading to sort out the difference.
Here’s some pointers for how to have SMART Stress:
Shows You Care
Stress is an indicator. At the most basic level, it’s just a gauge on the dashboard of your life. It’s a metric. A statistic. Whether it’s good or bad, affects you positively or negatively is up to other factors. The point here is you may already think of stress as positive or negative, it’s really neither, but can feel like both. You don’t stress if you don’t care. It’s a filter for showing you things you care about. Sound more like a friend than an enemy? When stress starts to show up, take it as an indicator that something you care about is going on. That’s it. Keep it simple. Acknowledge, “I’m starting to stress about this, so it needs to be a priority right now.”
Makes You Productive
Stress, by design, activates us. I’ll skip the psychology and physiology lesson – you know how it affects your mind and body – fight or flight, etc. Because you are focused on something you care about (running for your life, finishing an assignment, helping a friend) it boosts you to make you more productive. But it’s just a boost. It’s meant to be temporary, if normal life is requiring you to always be in “fight or flight”, that’s not SMART.
Assists In Taking Action
Similar to the point about making you productive, stress activates your body to take action, but your body doesn’t know the difference between a real (physical) threat and perceived (mental only) threat. That’s why we can be super-stressed, but sitting still with nothing or no one around. It’s like the Matrix, “your mind makes it real.” If you are believing you are threatened, your stress gauge goes berserk, and your mind starts shouting, “get ready to run or fight!” That’s not really what you want when you are going about daily life. It shouldn’t feel like a constant threat. If that’s the case, the stress should be assisting you to take action in a different way and figure out what changes you can make to wind down.
Reveals Motivation
If you are tracking with the points so far, you can also see how stress reveals what is motivating you. It’s a gift that clarifies. Take advantage of the chance to reflect on what is motivating you, beyond the surface. At first you might think, “I’m stressed because I have to finish….. (fill in the blank with whatever.) Ok, but that’s just a task. One of a million things you will do today, this week, this year, whenever – why is it stressful? In addition to being important in the moment, but why? What is the consequence of not doing it? Letting someone down? Failing at accomplishing a goal? Are you afraid? Confused? Trying to find your place? Figuring out your identity? It’s getting a little deep, but that’s the whole point. Before you blow it off, take a minute to consider some of these questions for a little clarity.
Thankful
Hopefully with what you’ve learned here, you can be thankful in the middle of being stressed. Thankfulness is a great cure for a lot of things. Sort of an emotional ‘miracle drug’. I advise always keeping it close by, and it’s safe for daily use. I hope you are thinking, “I can be thankful when stress starts to show up and clarify what I care about and why. It’s not good or bad, it’s here to help me get this done or show me something to work on.”
Like we said at the start, stress can be good, but not always.
Here’s a few ways stress can be DUMB, it can make you:
Distorted
Like a carnival fun house or broken mirror, stress distorts everything. You are not seeing the world with a normal perspective. In the positive, you can be so temporarily extremely focused, it can be a good thing. You can accomplish something amazing. In the negative, you’re not seeing the best in the people around you, and you’re not showing the rest of us the best in you.
Unmotivated
Likewise, related to the “D” for distorted perspective, when we are focused on the overwhelming negative, we’re unmotivated. And it makes sense. Who wants to run faster towards being overwhelmed? It doesn’t feel safe to run into a fog. Especially when you are expecting to fail anyway. Why be in a hurry to prove to yourself and show everyone you can fail, right? Wrong! Expecting the worst is not SMART!
Magnified
When you’re stressed, it’s like looking at the world through a magnifying glass. First of all, you can only see a small part of what is going on. Second, whatever it is you are looking at, is larger than life. Whether it’s something to appreciate and enjoy, or something to criticize in yourself or others – it’s magnified out of proportion with everything else.
Bitter
Stress about the wrong things for long enough, and you’ll get bitter, not better. Yikes! That’s not SMART. The better part of stress focuses on things you care about, not in thinking no one cares about you. Don’t stay stuck here. It might sound counter intuitive, but the quickest way out of here is to begin caring about someone else. Have a look at being a SMART Friend for more ideas.
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