SMART Maturity (a.k.a. Growing Up)

The SMART Life version of growing up means building your capacity to have a full life.

SMART Summary

When we say “maturing” what we mean is “growing up.”

Growing up is easy, it’s just not – easy. If we assuming “growing” means just getting older, that’s the easy part.

It’s the “up” part that’s hard.

Growing “up” instead of sideways, down or not at all requires effort and intentionality.

But hey – those are both things you are capable of!

Here’s some pointers for growing up SMART:

Start With Knowing You Have A Choice

Most of our early lives everyone else is likely making choices for us. There are lots of paths to growing up, some painful, some hurtful, some happy, some empowering, some discouraging. But you’ve made it this far! The rest is up to you.

I don’t mean that in a fatalistic “no one is coming to help you” kind of way. If you hang around here hopefully you will find lots of things to help. Just making the simple point, the transition from here on starts with a choice – that’s the easy part. The start is: I’m responsible for me.

Make A Decision

You have a choice, now learn how to use it! If you’re not very strong in your decision-making ability – that’s ok! Think of it like a muscle that can be developed, strengthened, trained. Hang around here and read more about topics you are interested in – it will help develop the confidence and strength to make good decisions.

Accept Responsibility

This can be a hard one. In the context of growing up, isn’t everything that’s happened so far someone else’s fault? Especially if there’s an injustice, neglect, abuse, dysfunction? Yes – until now, it is someone else’s fault.

Release It

Recognize then release it is a better way to put it. Recognize the people, events, situations, experiences that have had an effect on you. Recognize it, understand the effects, then also recognize you don’t know the other half of the story. I really DON’T mean to gloss over or make big issues seem trivial, but we are learning about growing up. It’s hard, it’s complicated, it’s confusing and it’s not fair – the best choice you have is to release it, for your own sake, not for the other person’s sake. You can focus on releasing the impact that someone else’s actions have had on you, while separating the choices to make in dealing with the consequences for the other person.

Trust

You gotta continue to trust someone in order to live a SMART life. A life devoid of trust is not SMART. Yes there’s always potential for something to go wrong, but you can learn to deal with that. You can make your own choices when someone fails you, right? One of the best things in life is when someone forgives and believes the best even when we fail. You can decide to be one of those people for someone else.

DUMB choices we sometimes make that keep us from maturing include:

Don’t Accept Responsibility

Part of maturing is accepting, it’s your life now. You can always get help, especially if you hang around here at SMART Life, but maturity starts with accepting the responsibility for what happens now is up to you. That’s good news! A little scary, but should be good news that you have the chance to become, do and be whatever you want.

Underestimate Yourself

Underestimate means “estimate something to be smaller or less important than it actually is.” Estimate means “roughly calculate or judge the value, number, quantity, or extent of.” So in this context, underestimating yourself is you roughly calculating the value of yourself to be smaller or less than you actually are. We’ve all done it. Taken someone else’s word for it, instead of finding our for ourselves. Or given up before we’ve even started. Thought “I could never”, “that’s not for me”, “people like me don’t…” But who’s to say? YOU are! You’re the one who has the final say what you can or can’t be and do. Better to try and find your limits than to guess and wonder while underestimating yourself. 

Make It A Race

Ironically, maturity doesn’t come with age. It comes with experience, accepting responsibility, and practice – like everything else that’s worthwhile! Go at your own pace, but don’t actively avoid opportunities to grow.

Believe The Worst

Being motivated to mature depends on looking toward the future. If you’re in survival mode or being pampered to death, there’s no reason to think ahead – nothing to prepare for. So believing the worst as a habit naturally demotivates us from pursuing personal growth and maturity. If you are looking ahead a little and trying to grow for the next stage of life – good for you. That’s SMART!