SMART Change
Change can be chosen, or change can be unexpected. But it’s coming for sure, one way or another. Let’s get ready for SMART Change!
SMART Summary
“The only constant in life is change.”
Ever heard that one?
And what about this one: “The only things that are certain in life are death and taxes.”
I agree with both, which I guess makes my version:
“The only things that are constantly certain in life are death, taxes and change.”
Not sure how well that works, but at least I tried…
Here’s some ways to have a SMART Change…
Stick to Values
When change is swirling around you in your world, it’s important to stick to your values. Separate values from wishes, emotions or whatever else is preoccupying your mind, but is only temporary. Sort through these, write them in two columns if it helps. It’s a great time to focus on what is permanent vs. what is temporary. Who do you want to be? What do you want to accomplish? Where do you want to wind up after this change? Separate internal from external. Maybe take a stab at separating temporary from eternal.
Make Up Your Mind
When change is swirling, it’s easy to feel out of control. Maybe you are out of control, especially if you didn’t choose to change. Chosen change is hard enough – unexpected or unwanted change can be devastating. It’s unexpected, it’s unwanted, it’s unfair. It’s all these things and lots more. Pause, take a breath. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. It’s normal.
Hey, you’ve made it this far to SMART Life, and help is here! At some point, you will be required to make a choice to continue. Survival mode will give way to normal life, rediscovered joy, and renewed purpose. You will come to a conclusion about how to frame the events that occurred, and then have the opportunity to choose once again how to live. (If you consider the change your fault, that’s OK too, take a look at how to have a SMART Fail here.)
Accelerate
This may sound counter intuitive, but slowing to a pause only gets you stuck. “It’s easier to steer a moving ship” some have said. Whether whoever said it was right or not, the point is – you can’t steer without any momentum. When you are ready, sometime before slowing to a stop, and you find a direction – accelerate into the turn. Go for it. Use the momentum that comes from making a decision. You can course correct later, stay moving.
Release It
Release them, release what could have been. Release it, whatever “it” is. If you don’t, you’re stuck here. You can only go as far as the string that is attached to “it”. And being stuck isn’t SMART. We can do better. I want to see you running towards your future full speed ahead.
Take initiative
“Initiative” (according to the Oxford dictionary experts…) means “the ability to initiate things independently.” And also “the power or opportunity to act or take charge before others do.” Hmmm… Independently and before others do. I think that’s ‘nuff said.
DUMB things to do during change include…
Deconstruct the Details
Don’t deconstruct into the finest details. Answers are rarely found in the specific, smallest details. I’ve tried it for years without success – True. If you go into the mode of deconstructing details to find answers, you’ll wind up on a lifelong treasure hunt with no chest of answers waiting at the end.
There’s no “X” marking the spot for figuring out all the details. Don’t live life looking through a microscope. The lessons are usually found in the trends, the bigger picture of a repeating pattern, more than the details of what makes this situation so unique. Deconstruct only enough to find a pattern, come to a conclusion that will allow you to move on. See the “Make up your Mind“ and “Accelerate” parts of SMART Change for more help.
Unwilling to Accept Uncertainty
Change is hard, I get it. But, don’t get stuck with being unwilling to accept the uncertainty. You don’t actually know if your next step will work. You can’t be sure about what comes next. You can’t control what someone else will do. But you can be sure that nothing good comes if you stop here, living in fear of uncertainty. All good next things are on the other side of being willing to accept some uncertainty and try again. It’s just the way it works.
Make It About Everyone Else
“He said”, “She said”, “They did”, “They didn’t”, “Everyone”, “No one”, “Somebody should have”, “Anybody could have” – I know, I KNOW. And it’s all probably true, so it’s even harder to get through if you are a person with a high value for what’s true and what’s right (which is a good thing…) Making it about everyone else keeps you at the mercy of what everyone else is thinking, doing, not doing, etc. That’s not a SMART way to change.
Make it about YOU. Who YOU are, what YOU believe, who YOU will be, the choice YOU have. Keep reading along and choosing to live SMART! You’ll find you are in good company here.
Blame Someone
Closely related to “make it about everyone else” but a little different, is finding someone to blame. It’s actually not necessary to find someone to blame. Since you are reading this section, that’s likely a new thought. Let me repeat: it’s actually not necessary to find someone to blame. It’s just not.
Trust me, if you can… Take a shortcut out of going around this circle over and over again. It’s not necessary to find someone to blame, you can just jump straight to the SMART Change pointers above and not collect the $200 of grief from going around the board of ‘finding someone to blame before moving on’ again. Trust me, give it a try!
